Sunday, October 18, 2009

Dogs are dangourous.

Let me set the scene.

I was going for a ride on my bike like the dandy that I am, trying to avoid all the women that were running towards me trying to give me their numbers or at least to touch me or stroke my mutton chops. I went for a ride along the creek lands and turned around and started heading back after I got into town. I was almost home after I beat Lance Armstrong in a sprint, the wager of which was his entire personal fortune, minus his predisposition to cancer. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, a dog came running towards to me, evidently attracted to my animal-like musk (that probably better explains all the women running toward me).

To take a more true stance in my storytelling, The dog was actually chasing a ball across the bike path.
I swerved to avoid it.
Clipped it.
And rolled onto the ground and high speed.

Fortunately my iPhone took the brunt of the impact on the ground. Hopefully the mark left by it will develop a bit more so I can get a better photo of it.



It might be a little easier to see if I wasn't so hairy a.k.a manly.
Also you should check out what my hand and jacket looked like after the accident.

As I gasped for air, my first reaction was to ask if the dog was alright. The owners seemed to be either stunned that I was alright or didn't really care that I fell. A few women that were sitting in their group didn't even bother to get up. Probably because their maternal extincts were, at some point, directed towards dogs rather than children. Although they didn't get up to check on the dog I hit either so maybe I am being harsh.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Bike culture

Since I learnt how to ride I've always had a bicycle. However, I'd end up riding heaps for a few weeks (after I got a new/used bike as a gift) and then stop after that. I think I rode to school a couple of times but it seemed to be pretty pointless seeing as my sister was being dropped off via car and I could just go with her.
It's not until I started my graphic design course at the TAFE in Armadillo that I become interested in bicycles again. It's a really short ride along flat ground AND on a bike path to get to TAFE from my homestead.
Unfortunately, the bike I was riding would be, if it was a car, a Ford Explorer. Meaning that it was pretty hard to ride with it's huge frame and nobbely tires (much like my dick).

I got lazy and stopped riding.

I then made a chance discovery at a Lifeline Store. An old road bike with markings that seemed to indicate it was Speedwell Flash 500 (I've never heard of the brand let alone the model but what I found out was that Speedwell was an Australian company that probably went under when we realized we could get bicycles cheaper if they were built by political prisoners in China).

You’ve already seen a photo of it if you are one of the 1000’s of people that follow my blog but I’ll put in another photo of it just in case.


That cost 35 dollars plus 85 dollars for new tires and tubes and chain lube.

A pretty good deal I think.

Another topic I wanted to write about was this strange culture that surrounds bikes that have fixed gears (I’ll explain what that means later.). It’s really not so much a culture that surrounds the bikes but just a culture that picked up the bikes as the new cool thing that units them. Please remember I am using the word “culture” in a loose context here, I’m not comparing them to the Athenians or anything.

Now, the subculture thing that has picked up this riding of fixed gear bikes are known as hipsters. Like any contemporary subculture (i.e. people that buy certain things) having well defined lines that separate you from other subcultures is not rad at all, someone would never describe themselves as a hipster they just would be. I think the best way to experience what they are is to either watch the TV series "Skins"or look at this photo.

That's pretty much it

I'm sure there is a snarky definition of what a hipster is on Urban Dictionary, but you can look it up yourself!

Anyway, to relate this back to bicycles and end the post.

The bike he is holding is pretty much what the first bikes were. 2 wheels on a frame with pedals that connected to the bake wheel with a chain. That's it.

Chances are you probably learnt to ride a bike like that when you were little. And all BMX bikes are like this. But I just don't understand why you'd want to use a bike like that. Sure if you bought a bike like mine for hardly anything and you wanted to take off all the gears and the brakes then that'd be fine. But like any good fad people have to pay, sometimes 1000s of dollars for bikes that are already like that.
These bikes still actually exist within the world of the squares and posers......as track racing bikes......in velodromes. Is it meant to be ironic that people ride them on the streets (in skinny jeans.......that probably cost 150 dollars). I suppose I should describe the riding mechanics of a track/fixed gear bike, at least as how I have come to understand it. The pedals will be moving constantly while you are in motion because it doesn't have a freewheel (The thing on a geared bike that clicks when you stop pedaling) You can't brake unless you use your feet. You also only have one gear ratio, so unless you live in a city that is really flat, it would be a pain in the butt to ride.

But then again, being a dork with brakes and gears sucks balls. I HATE MYSELF.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

My new ride, bra

More updates to follow.....about my bike.