Sideburns

I'm aiming to achieve sideburns as big as Mendelssohn's. Mmmmmm-mmmmm.

Toby Lilt Thallus, Photojournalist for the Associated Press

I was going in to our wonderful town centre tonight to pick up a copy of "The Incredible Hulk" (Why did they make another one? It's like running in front of a train because you think it's a good idea, surviving that, and then running in front of another one after years of physiotherapy and immense emotional and physical pain, and expecting it to be better experience this time around [oh, did I mention I was going to go pay money for this movie I am criticising?{I also base this criticism off nothing, seeing as I didn't see the first movie, but oh well, go fuck yourself}]) 

As I walked from my can towards the video store (I work at said video store, I just want the ladies out there to know that because I know that's totally hot) these two girls started yelling at me. I think it went something like this "Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" I couldn't see who was  yelling because I was standing under the 1.21 Gigawatt fluorescent lights we have there, so I just waved incase it was someone I knew (I could make out one of them holding a wine bottle up triumphantly and one sitting down, well, one that I THOUGHT was sitting down but I'll get to that in a minute).As I walked in the door they yelled out something along the lines of "Yeah, rock on........! Ahhhhh, come one, guy!" I'm not sure what that meant, like I wasn't getting into the spirit of things by engaging in conversation with them. I walked in and immediately told the girl that was working (who was about to walk out the door, or at least I thought she was) to watch out for the crazy girls yelling stuff out down the street. Some people in the shop said the same ones gave them some lip as they came in too. I left the video store shortly after that because they had no fucking Hulks left, motherfucker! As I walked out the door I was worried that maybe the girl had come closer and would talk to me, fortunately they'd moved on. So I moved quickly back to my car, in which my mother and kid sister awaited, scared that maybe there were more of these girls lurking about the place.

Okay, We've come to the kicker now. Not only were they so drunk that they'd gone beyond their normal capacity to not realise how completely stupid they are (Like, normal stupid people, i.e. most of the people in Armidale, know they aren't smart but don't think about it because they aren't smart enough to do anything about it. Now, when THOSE people get arseholed, they try to drag you into the stupid too [when I talk about stupid and smart, I don't mean book smart or knowing lots about certain things, some of the stupidest people are academics. I mean the people that can't see anything but what's in there self-interest and don't try to understand anyone else's interests, it's hard to explain, I'll have to think about it more. WAIT! It's someone that would do that. When I say stupid, I mean the people that don't/can't think. I'm off track now, back to the other stuff!]) I hopped back in the car and was told by my mum and sister that the girl "sitting down" was taking a piss. Now, I'm perfectly okay with you urinating in a discreet area, preferable on/near a bush or something because you'll be fertilising it, but this babe was doing her dirty business on the side of the road! Was this what they were yelling at me about, the fact that one of them had go to the toilet so bad, they had to pee in the gutter? Did they want to draw attention to it? Did they think it was something worthy of sharing with more people than themselves? Do more people have this mentality, to think they are important when they aren't? I think I should find out.

Now I come to telling you the point of this blog entry. I've come up with the pseudonym/anagram to serve as a front for me to get into a pub with a camera. I may phone the pub ahead of time to ask them if it would be okay if I could get some shots for a piece I'm doing on the way of life in rural Australia and that it's for International syndication. Now, I plan on using  that same line and making sure that the people getting photographed know it's going to be seen by the WORLD. I'll take a note pad to take down peoples names, or maybe a dictaphone, and more importantly answers to question I will ask. I haven't come up with the questions I'm going to ask, but I'll try to make it seem legit. Speaking of legit, I'm pretty sure that impersonating someone might be an offence, well maybe only If I get things for free or I get some monetary gain from it. In the unlikely even I get caught by the police, I doubt I would get charged with anything. 

The hardest part of this plan is going to be someone blowing my cover. I need to get at least a few people talking about the "guy from a fancy newspaper coming to do some story about Australian country towns or some shit". So the people reading this that are my friends and live in this town (by that I mean all the people reading this) need to help me out! 

Chances are I won't do this because of laziness and fear of being stabbed but WHATEVER! I feel like I really want to do this AT THE MOMENT and that's all that matters! 

You know you want my blog in you.

I'm not one to flock into the rushing torrents of popular trends. However, I am one to whore myself for attention, So I've created a blog. I guess the main reason is to talk about my various photographic ventures and, more than likely, the other awesome and outrageously sexy situations I get myself into. Oh, and make a note of the post time of this. Yeaaaaaah, Past midnight up writing my stories for the people of the internet to enjoy, I'm fully sick.

Over the past year I've become more and more interested in all aspects of photography. From the image stealing to the picture chemical wash (taking photos and developing them, for those who aren't schooled in the high tech vocab of the photomakers). In future posts, I will share with you my photos and the stories behind them. I'm looking to get some photos of happenings at parties and pubs, lets call it my "study into postmodernist perceptions of popular culture and alcohol". Although, the pub may not be the best place to take photos. I'm a pretty weedy guy and I can just imagine my face getting fused with a schooner glass. I did have an idea on how to make people comfortable with me taking there photos but that involves impersonating a photojournalist for the Associated Press and I think that might be illegal. Well, I suppose it would be interesting to take photos inside a prison.