Did you find a card with this URL on it?

Chances are If you're on here and don't know me personally it's because you found a card with a URL on it that directed you to this page and my flickr account. Basically it's part of my efforts to try and reach out to a greater number of cunts than I had been doing before. Check out all the words I've said prior to this article. If you like them say so, If you hate them then make nice and just say you liked them.

Tutorial: How to get email notification when someone comments on your blog so that you can respond and not have people make Voodoo dolls of you...

...because they thought you were ignoring them!

Okay, this should be the first of many tutorials relating to how not to offend Luke by ignoring nice shit he says! (Subsequently, I have in fact forgotten what I said)
First you should go and sign into your blog and do these four things IN ORDER. If you do it out of order it won't work!

People will print things for you if you give them money.

I changed the card slightly and made a sexier, higher resolution and more sensual copy of it.

If I was ever to profit off the distribution of pirated movies.....

.....I'd only copy and sell movies that have unskippable anti-piracy ads before the DVD menu appears. And I'd copy twice as many movies if they used the ad that says "We all like seeing a good Aussie film" and I'd sell them for half price too. Just so when the Wanner brothers look at the piracy statistics for the third fiscal quarter, all they'll see, written in the middle of a piece of paper in big block letters is "YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING CUNTS AND NEED TO NOT PUT FUCKING ANNOYING ASS ANTI PIRACY ADS AT THE START OF YOUR FUCKING MOVIES, YOU CUNTS!"

Beating my little fists on the table to get attention, figuratively.

Do you like it!? My plan is to make these biz cards either myself or get a place to make them for me, then leave them around town and also hand them out to people when I take a picture of them. I'm slightly worried that those links are going to break though, the top one links to my Flickr and the bottom one links to this blog.
Hopefully I can generate some kind of a stir in the Armidale community and they will crown me King of New England and I'll get a hat with my name on it. It would also have a shotgun on it and a flashing neon light of a pole dancer. I might make a picture of it just in case someone wants to start working on it.